Newspapers and Tea
So lately, I've been journaling more than posting. I've been arriving at intense thoughts and ideas at various times throughout the day and have not wanted to interrupt their progressions by finding a computer.
But I will recap one from today:
We're supposed love, aren't we?
Designed to, meant to...
And when we are not, not reaching or fulfilling our great potential.
Can we approach ourselves this way?
As a being we can set out to love? Entering a relationship with ourselves?
Every activity/separated moment approached this way?
We are then in multiple relationships if we enter another...
balance.
There is more to come on this...
But since, I've had quite a bit of fun going on mini dates with my self.
Treating my self pretty well... Hey, guess I can be a pretty good girlfriend...
posted by Ashley @ 3:58 PM
2 Comments:
I'm not convinced.
I'm not convinced we're supposed to love.
Or at least, I'm not convinced that it's primary.
Or, perhaps I'm not convinced that I know how.
I'm certainly not convinced that I am designed to.
Heavy emphasis on the "I".
Either way, I'm not convinced.
What makes you the slightest bit sure?
Or should I say, "suspect?"
I'm not ready to approach myself this way, Ashley. But some people are born ready. What gives?
~A.B.
Oh, no no no no no....
We're meant to exist. Meant? We just do!
And my drive to dissect, investigate, break down, get to the damn bottom, make empty of every aspect of humanity, what it is to be human, well, I see it through the lense of “I’m better than that.” If I can put my finger on it, well, then I should overcome it, surpass that. Not need it, too, that’s for sure.
Humans with goals. They’re happy. Naive, perhaps, but happy. I mean, in all seriousness, life is weird. Life is pretty fucking weird. No, there is no God. There is just existing. So you try to make existing the best it can be for you. Which can be pretty fun. (I mean, all this is normally unquestioned, ignored, so subliminal, got it?) So, you say, I’m this. I’m going to be a good husband. Or I’m going to be a great mom. Or heck! I’m a kick-ass writer. That’s what I am. Hello! That’s what I’m supposed to be!
Well, nope. You question it. Get to the bottom of it. See WHY you’re doing it---and IT is gone. SUBJECTIVE. You’re part of it all, influence it all, those brain waves of yours. So when it comes down to it, you gotta please yourself. Quite the damn questioning and jump in, right? Just pick something and do it well? Wheresoever you go, take your whole heart with you. Just prepare yourself to feel good about the decisions you are/will be making and go with the flow. One thing at a time. Letter happen. And please yourself along the way.
The fun lens, I suppose. That’s the lens through which I guess I would value the idea of looking through the most. So what is fun, eh? Well, hell, fun for me is dissecting, analyzing, cause that’s what I do right? Nope! 7 days to start a new habit. Redefine fun.
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