Waiting to exhale

Well, I am sure I will be an A student this final semester. I've been joyously throwing myself into my school work, giving my 100% to every reading, reflection, project, and discussion.

All to take my mind off the fact that I am leaving this all behind in two weeks. I've been diving into this distraction.
It has been an amazing four years. My girlfriend from back home called me the other night and eventually she asked , hinting that she thought I had, if I had changed a lot since I have left home. How do you answer that? She mentioned how all the gals felt as if I had this secret life: that I'd been away for 4 years and nobody could ever know what took place. That's how this feels: like this incredible side trip composed of so many concentrated experiences and aquaintences: fragmented moments of blurred intensity. That I will walk away from in two weeks. I mean, sure, I will take the memories with me, and inevitably can't really leave them behind because they have shaped who I am...yada, yada...
But honestly, I woke up this morning to a song I used listen to while laying in bed with someone I had felt a strong connection with. This is a person I will most likely never see again in 20 days. And I let myself step back and get a perspective on my current situation. I paused to feel. And I sobbed. The emotion was overwhelming. I collapsed onto my bed and filled myself. I shook with grief and gratitude and I am drained. So I put on my favorite clothes for the day, packed up my things, ate some breakfast cereal, and am doing it all again today. Doing this day. Well, frankly, I teared up all the way to school, then broke down and called my mom at work for a comforting voice :)