Wide open
Is vulnerability a defense mechanism? Afraid that something you hold onto so strongly will be torn away from your grasp...
I am talking with my friend Michael. About many things...judgments (very helpful, resist placing value on them, however), vulnerability, friendships, differences…
He wants to know why I engage with him (we have very sporadic encounters where we dive far below the surface) despite our very different values.
I tell him that the way he thinks about what he thinks about has the potential to attract me more than what he does think about...he knows that people are supposed to encounter one another for high purposes.
People's lives are driven by the meaning they value. Mike's is Christianity. He recognizes that this has led him to avoid situations and people that could pull him from that. My life is driven by the desire to be pulled away from all I assume. This has not changed much during the past 6 or so years. I am driven toward new situations that will expand my experiences in order to connect with a person I might meet in the future based on a familiarity...
posted by Ashley @ 5:21 PM
2 Comments:
Point for clarification:
Am I to assume that you are living so as to be so familiar with yourself so that you will recognize the ONE person that you might meet in the future? If so, why is it about one person? I'm not attacking, just bothered by where this notion in us comes from...
OR
are you suggesting that in each step forward you take to knowing yourself, the more likely you will recognize another person that brings a certain familiarity to your present state, and together, you will be ushered to your next level of development? and consequently, to a new level of familiarity, and a new person to help guide you through it? If so, what is the process of development and what is the actual aim?
I might not be making sense... but I guess that wouldn't be very atypical for me, eh?
~bell
No, no, no, twas I that wasn't so clear...allow me to explain (most likely in an unclear way):
A drive I recognized in myself many years ago (relatively speaking...damn, I'm in a dorky mood) was a desire to connect with people. Now, I was subtly reminded of this while sitting on a bus on my way down to Olympia to lobby for comprehensive sexual education. I was surrounded by people I did not know and we were all heading to the same location, united by the desire to put a value into action. My motivation then and still to this day leads me to engage in as many different experiences as possible. This is beneficial in many ways. Two: My paradigms are constantly being reevaluated and I am able to empathize with people I meet, increasing the chances that we will have a more meaningful connection. Okay, three: it’s pretty fun to do new things. So I am assuming that with this small preparation I enable myself to share an experience with another, though separated by space, time, context…and that this aspect of their life is significant enough to have impacted their personhood and they will want to engage in a potentially stimulating conversation. If nothing else, gaining varying experiences often increases my awareness of my presence in the world.
Better?
So, yes, my statement resounds more with option #2. However, I’ll have to get back to you on the last questions. I could have given you an answer with quite certainty a couple weeks ago. Paradigm shifts… :)
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