Visions in lates and grass

To be grateful and content while simultaneously unsatisfied, growing, and challenged. This is the conundrum of my life as Ashley Miller. Does someone who places such importance on becoming one’s best self, on discovery, experience, understanding, and purpose ever find contentment in something constant? If so, what aspect of life does it touch…love, career, self-realization, health? And the perspectives within which areas need to change to balance this constant that becomes the all important? If not, how does one truly accept the purposefulness of constant motion and perceived progression? Does she tune out the pulls and whispers of convention within her mindset, argue with the mindsets of others around her…does she live a purpose so full of unrest but of constant evaluation and adapting that it is accepted as conventional…

Its Monday tomorrow, august 11th, 2008 and I will wake up late morning on Main street in Napa, California, in the united states of America on the North American continent of the planet earth within the galaxy Milky Way. I will wake up a female in her mid-twenties, unattached to a significant other. Hmmmm….

And here it is, Monday August 11th, and I sit a strong, determined human being…envisioning all this life has to offer, all I will see, hear, feel during my time on earth.

I awoke much earlier than I thought this morning. Though it feels so great to approach the day with a full night’s rest, the days I awake and the day is all my own I am just too excited to drift away in bed. These are the days, fortunately, that 8 hours of sleep does not noticeably affect the way I go about the day. Challenging days at work definitely benefit with being at 100%.

So I threw on my running shoes and jogged down to Fuller park on the other side of downtown Napa. There is something so empowering about being far away from anywhere you might want to be later and knowing only your feet can bring you back there. I passed people watering their yards, others who wished me a great morning , young mothers exercising with groups of baby strollers, and youth out strolling to a soundtrack only their ears can hear. I run by the café in which I now sit and stretch in the park by my house. Yoga motions calm my always racing mind and center my energy. And I walk away grateful and empowered.
I see my 30 something self, walking a stroller next to a similar tree protected park, hand in the hand of another who is by best friend, my inspiration, my partner in dreams, business, the daily doldrums…I see us satisfied by the work we do, having time away from it to sleep in the woods, drive across the country, drink wine over Sunday dinners with family, meditate, stretch, and fornicate…

Because I can see it, it will be mine.