Since...

Since February 24th...is much different?
Does it feel different?
i can't say I haven't felt the need or the desire to write here, creating a sign that things are different. I have. Is it telling then, that I just had nothing to write? Another 'no'. Have I been short on time and not able to write? Perhaps this is a factor. Slightly. Not that I have experienced more pressing activities and tasks. Not so much, no.

Winter.
I said once this winter that we humans are really made to catch up on rest during the winter months. The day light hours are short, it is cold outside. We put aside chores that could be done in warmer months; some sense of the word adventure to get comfortable in what we already know; beginning explorations to contemplate and understand where we are and have recently been; meeting new people to spend quality time with the familiar.

There were times this winter that I battled settling into this winter world. Or at least I settled in deeply and periodically lost the perspective of its temporariness. But I did. i fought the winter at times.

I appreciate drastic polarities...black and white, quiet and loud, dark and bright, gloom and cheer. Much of the time I prefer them to the grey, volume you have to strain to hear, dimly lit, emotionless, monotonous times. The polarities can be more easily understood, explained, expressed. It can be more easy to know how you are feeling, to behave, to communicate. Which requires more inner strength? The drastic extremes or the in between? i felt a little weaker this winter. Which I like to accept and be easy on myself, know that it passes, let myself be really in that. But this winter wore on. And I grew hard on myself. And the winter. Knowing it would pass, I was still demanding for more, for different.

But spring is here. Is it the grey between the black of winter and summer white? Do I prefer the middle ground? well, seasons are not this simple, and the polar extremes are just a construct, often inaccurate...but spring is here, and so is change.