Blessed is this life, I'm going to celebrate being alive

My car smells of a vineyard. It smells delightful. Yeast, grape leaves, and rich soil swirled sweetly on my drive home tonight. I finished my 3rd day of work. I love it. Almost on the dot, I laugh out loud every half hour that I am where I am, doing what i am doing. It is beautiful and words cannot even begin to describe.

So I love this crew. I can foresee us all getting along very nicely and it feels so good to be a part of it. Day one was excellent. Many introductions, we gave a morning tour and tasting, lunch at the brewery and a drive to some of our vineyards with Wendy, and little intro to the tasting room. Tuesday was another good one. We did a full reserve room tasting with food pairing and I worked a couple hours in the tasting room. I love it: I like making sales, meeting the visitors, pouring beautiful wine. And we got a carpool going, which will be great. A few of us live on the north end of napa, so I'll probably only drive up a couple days a week.

I went in later today. We did a full dinner and wine pairing with the Silverado resort for 17 Shell executives. It was picturesque. After rolling in on their bus to our back reserve room, they were greeted by Wendy and me with pinot noir and Savignon Blanc on a gorgeous patio surrounded by one of our vineyards, olive trees, fountains and old barrels. The weather was perfect, the sunset was great, and they were a good crew. After appetizers and quite a few bottles, we took them to our dinning room fit for a queen. We paired a starter salad with Chardonnay, the main course with our Cabernet, threw in a surprise reserve cab, then finished desert with a bellmoscato.

I have the day off tomorrow. And life hasn't been just all about work since I've been here. All of 3 days :) The garden house is incredible. It is 5 miles up into the hills on the north side of Napa and so serene. Its 5 bedrooms are made of stone and wood floors and it feels so good to be over looking the city, vineyards and farms. There are 3 living rooms, a hot tub, and its on the garden for Ubuntu...what more could you ask for! So, yes, I've done some gardening for Rose while she is away in Mendocino, got moved in a bit, saw some live music in town, had the most amazing breakfast date with company that makes me smile, just thinking bout it...

But, yes, it is all very amazing and breathtaking. I really have to laugh quite often that this is my reality. Tomorrow I meet with the Bounty Hunter again about working there a few nights a week, I'm going to taste at a new winery, and I think I will go to the Chef's market downtown. Friday work begins with a staff meeting with the winemaker, Dean, who I simply adore. He is such a great man, from what I have already gotten to know. We are going to taste all the current releases with him and get some great notes. Saturday a big wedding party is coming through...36 of them! I got to serve the bride and mother yesterday in the tasting room and prepare their wedding party gifts. That will be a fun day. Sunday I have off. I'm going to a southern Presbyterian-type? church in Oakland with the amazing breakfast company :) then to a BBQ to give homage to wild pacific salmon. where we will eat wild pacific salmon and work to protect them? hmmmmm....

Anyway, I couldn't have asked for(or, rather, worked hard to achieve) a more perfect situation.

To being blessed.

I have tears in my ears

A quote from my mom tonight.

We have this ongoing tradition that I clean her house on Fridays, she comes home to cocktails and me playing the piano, either my dad or I cooking a great dinner, and the evening is complete with cards, a game of yatzee, a movie, or just laying around talking. well, there's been times that we have danced. Quite a bit.

But this was our last one for a while. And laying on the floor after steak, grilled zeggies, and zin...a bit of old jazz from the piano and folk from the radio...she said she does not want sunday to come. i'm leaving sunday. And though I love my mom, I know she loves me, I tell her she's my best friend and I mean it, i didn't quite grasp that she was feeling this way.

i thought she might focus on the alternative...was her daughter really going to live around town forever? is ashley lacking feelings of vigor, of progress and challenge? But, God, it is good to know this. To know, if even with pain, these feelings of love. It is good to know she would be there for me no matter what, no matter when. I can come to her when I really need her. And that is not something I practice much. But there are those days that just knowing that will be the most comforting thing in the world.

But, too, it is hard to be the one who is left. I am sorry. So sorry. that you will walk down those stairs and my false presense will mock you like a ghost. that there might be those days that you need some girl time after work but all you might feel is alone, even abandoned. I miss you so much thinking of it. Already. i miss you so much.

i am so sorry. That I get to be the one that leaves, walks towards excitement and beginnings, rather then stay with a vacancy. it's hard to be the one who stays when things change.

but think of the phone calls, the visits down, the reunions at home. THink how special they will be! the months of love and stories and growth concentrated in one beautiful connection...
it will be special. not what it is now, which, despite what you might think I think, is so important to me, something I hold dear.

i wish you could take me leaving not so personally. And I know you dont. Right? you dont right...despite what sometimes crosses your mind? I am not unhappy here. i am not unhappy with you. I am me. And you know me.

Today, I cleaned her house for the last (regular:) time. I washed my car to be presentable in a new place. I changed its oil so it will get me there happily. I deposited last checks from my old job. i canceled my gym membership. I picked up months of presciptions...I am ready.

so full of confidence that only many years of love and belief in my special capabilities could grant me.

I thank you. from the center of my being, I thank you. And that's where I love you from too. Always.

Ash

421, the life changing time

So after a late night, I awoke at 7 this morning to Jungle fever being blasted 9 inches from my resting head and a kid learning how to sand cabinets. Given there is a wall in-between my headache and this ruckus, I’m over it. And laughing about it too. I bet a million dollhairs this will not happen in Napa. Not in a million dollhairs. Nor, however, do I think I will get to wake up with a blister on my thumb every Friday from playing rockband karaoke in a bar full of my three favorite Mexican lads: Henry, Carlos, and Chester. All in one room! Well, it was a good last night out of freedom. I don’t think I’ll have a day off for a few months. Not one day.

So I start my job in Napa on Monday morning. So many emotions. And after a couple requests for an updated blog, I’m going to jump on that train and write about the experience. Since it might be tough keeping sane, a clear perspective, and in touch with loved ones while working so much.

So a few weeks ago my job was winding down at the county, I had gotten a job bartending, but wasn’t getting many shifts (okay, not really any at all), and I hadn’t heard back from Sac State if I was accepted to start graduate school in the fall. And when this girl thinks she isn’t challenged, isn’t taking steps in a direction to provide growth and advancement, isn’t providing a useful service…she gets a crazy notion. And when I get an idea in my head, well, its there, not really going anywhere, and I act on it.

The idea of chasing the job in the wine industry did not arise from thin air, however. And my family and friends would surely second that. I love wine. I love wine tasting. I went wine tasting for my 16th birthday and have never been the same. While in school at Tacoma, I spoke with wine reps during evening tastings and envied their work. I traveled to Spain and France and stared out the windows of trains at the beautiful countrysides terraced with vines. While in Mexico, I emailed every winery in the Grass Valley vicinity to see if I could come do any work with them upon my arrival back to the states.

There is something about wine tasting that resonates within my entire being. You often taste with people you respect and love. If you taste alone, you more often than not make a respected friend during the experience. While tasting, you quiet your mind and let your senses do the speaking. You eyes note the color of the wine: is it a rich yellow? A crisp, youthful red? An autumn burgundy that fades to brown? You feel the wine, carefully spinning, allowing air to penetrate its juices, noting its weight and consistency. You immerse your nose in your glass, slowly smelling its beauty as if it were a soft flower. And you listen to its sent: does it speak of tropical pineapple? Cinnamon? Mocha? Sweet plums? Then finally, you bring it to your lips and taste. And every moment it is in your mouth its personality evolves. Its sweetness flirts with the tip of my tongue. It’s acids tease the edges where my tongue touches my teeth. As I move it around my mouth, making sure no part of my senses feels left out, I breath once more through my lips and out through my nose as I swallow. Does it leave me with a lingering message or does it quickly disappear, leaving me wanting more?

Wine is beautiful. It is a modern developing science. It is a history. It is a world united by a fine art. It is connecting with the soils of the earth. And I am excited to learn and be involved with every aspect I can.

So a couple weeks ago, I sent out my resume to about 15 wineries. I developed a cover letter specific to each. They ranged from international, bubble-producing, large scale tasting rooms, to family-run, appointment only, removed estate wineries. I drove down to Napa shortly after, had interview after interview, sometimes second interviews, some offers, some more resume send outs, and finally, I got an offer from the winery I was holding out for.

I will be doing reserve room pouring and food pairings for Whitehall lane Winery. The road that borders the renowned winery shares its name. It lays right off the 29 heading from Napa to St. Helena . Its wines got named by Wine Spectator top five in the world, 3 out of the past 5 years. The owner works there 4 days a week, which I guess is unheard of. Most owners are big business men living an hour away in san Francisco who buy a winery to add to their list of accomplishments. Our owner was this man but fell so in love with the winery that he got his hands into the mess. Literally. And so did his family. So its small and family run, yet busy due to its location and name it has built for itself. It has a long history of growing grapes on the soil it now cultivates, but is fairly new, really developing in the 70s. And there are a lot of changes going on, which I am excited to be a part of.

I was scared during the process. I still am too. I had moments of feeling inadequit. I blew an interview, didn’t hear back from a few wineries. Completely guessed during a blind tasting. Got offers and turned them down with no backup yet. Felt alone, floundering in a new place. Wondered what I was getting myself into.

But I had moments of greatness too. It feels right when I am there. I've already met some amazing new people. i had great interviews that lasted 2 hours then ended in wine tasting. A winemaker told me I have the best palate of any young woman he has ever met (though I don't know what to take from that).

But I got myself into something great. So I’ll be working full time, Wednesday to Sunday, and hopefully also at a restaurant/wine merchant downtown Sunday-Tuesday. I worked there already one evening and met 3 winemakers in 2 hours who offer insight to the growing year, free tastings and tours at their estates with wine to take home, and an energy that is comparable to no other place in the world I am sure.
Napa is a world of its own, I must say. The food, the scenery, the people: from the tourists to the locals to the transplants who love wine and moved just to work with it. It’s an hour from my brother and friends in SF, an hour to family and friends in sacto, 2 to the foothills, and 3 to skiing. Not too bad.

That being said, the afternoon I got offered a job at Whitehall I checked my email and got an acceptance to sac state in the fall. I looked at the clock and it was 4:21. My life-changing time.

So, I have 3 more days of freedom before jumping into that other world. I spent yesterday wrapping up things with the county, having dinner with friends, playing with others. I need to spend sometime packing, though I will be house-sitting a house out on a beautiful garden for the next couple months, so wont bring much. Friday dinner with the folks tonight. Saturday a good day at the river, listing to blues and drinking beers at the Coloma Blues fest.
But I better go. I have a lot to get done on 4 hours of sleep and this cabinet making is a bit much to handle.