The power of the blog :)

I got an anonymous package in the mail yesterday.
It was large. It was light.
I opened it to find an old tupperware container perfectly nestled inside protective popcorn pieces. After carefully removing the packing tape from the lid and gently pulling away the large bubble wrap, I found to my surprise...
2 batches of my grandma's scrumptious, cure-all, baked-with love, infamous peanut butter cookies: Enough to share with my roommates as we plug through these last few days that run, run, one into the other. We diligently and responsibly exchange the occasional "hello, how are you?" but the love of the cookies offer a touch of humanity to our somewhat delirious states. They may just aid the immune system as well, for as of today, I am feeling much better. After days of a constant presence of mucus, glands the size of golfballs, and skin that ached with every touch I'm feeling a little more like myself.
Thank you blogger fairy, and can you send a thank you to my grandma?

Meditations

"...risk taking is probably the most defining act of an ethical life. Ethics require us to think deaply about our positions on issues, and to take principled stands as a result of those positions...By understanding that courage is not a reflex, but a consequence of knowing your own mind, determining right and wrong for yourself and acting on that understanding, you create the possibility of risk taking in the interest of the greater good. Your good and the greater good become almost synonymous..."

"...Only when we make a decision to live ethical lives, to aspire ethically, can we transform fear and our reaction to it into the reasoned resistance to the greed and exploitation that serve as a major barrier to a truly democratic society. Each ethical actions represents an ongoing commitment as we meet life's day-to-day challenges and opportunities, a readiness to assume risks in honor of self and all others."

-Derrick Bell, Ethical Ambition

Goodnight, moon

I created myself the craziest of all crazy days. What a ride life can truly be, huh? yeah...
Welp, I have welts on my back, which, yes, were welcomed, I bought my first lotery ticket, which I am about to find out if has made me 7 million $ richer, though, when I was asked what I would do with it, I said I would give away, I think I'm about to throw up cambodian pork from eating meat for the first time in quite a while, I smell like a pac ave bar, I got offered the most genuine "goodnight" I've had for while...from a Pierce Transit bus driver, I almost got soaking wet from a stranger's water gun, and now I have ventured back into the Lute dome. And I am in desparate need of one of my grandmother's peanut butter cookies. Grandma? Where are you?

Waiting to exhale

Well, I am sure I will be an A student this final semester. I've been joyously throwing myself into my school work, giving my 100% to every reading, reflection, project, and discussion.

All to take my mind off the fact that I am leaving this all behind in two weeks. I've been diving into this distraction.
It has been an amazing four years. My girlfriend from back home called me the other night and eventually she asked , hinting that she thought I had, if I had changed a lot since I have left home. How do you answer that? She mentioned how all the gals felt as if I had this secret life: that I'd been away for 4 years and nobody could ever know what took place. That's how this feels: like this incredible side trip composed of so many concentrated experiences and aquaintences: fragmented moments of blurred intensity. That I will walk away from in two weeks. I mean, sure, I will take the memories with me, and inevitably can't really leave them behind because they have shaped who I am...yada, yada...
But honestly, I woke up this morning to a song I used listen to while laying in bed with someone I had felt a strong connection with. This is a person I will most likely never see again in 20 days. And I let myself step back and get a perspective on my current situation. I paused to feel. And I sobbed. The emotion was overwhelming. I collapsed onto my bed and filled myself. I shook with grief and gratitude and I am drained. So I put on my favorite clothes for the day, packed up my things, ate some breakfast cereal, and am doing it all again today. Doing this day. Well, frankly, I teared up all the way to school, then broke down and called my mom at work for a comforting voice :)